Breaking News – Big Discovery – New element discovered in Ireland.

New element discovered in Ireland.

The CSIRO (Commonwealth Scientific and Industrial Research Organisation) has discovered the heaviest element yet known to sciences.

The new element is Governmentium ( Gov ).

It has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of left-on and right-on like particles called peons.

Since Governmentium has no electrons or protons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.

A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction normally taking less than a second, to take from four days to four years to complete.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2- 6 years.

It does not decay but instead undergoes a reorganisation in which a portion of the assistant neutrons
and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium’s mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganisation will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration.

This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.

When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium , an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.

All of the Governmentium money is consumed in the exchange, and no other by products are produced.

end.

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On St. Patrick’s Day – Proud to be Irish!

Last year, after having dug to a depth of 5 metres, Canadian archaeologists found traces of copper wire dating back 200 years. They came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 150 years ago !

Not to be outdone by their neighbours, in the weeks that followed, an American archaeologist dug to a depth of 10 metres. Shortly afterwards, a story was published in the New York Times: “American archaeologists, finding traces of 250-year-old copper wire at a depth of 10 metres, have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network 50 years earlier than the Canadians” !

A week later, Belfast authorities reported the following: “After digging to a depth of 20 metres in BELFAST , Jack Arkwright, self-taught archaeologist reported that he had found, “absolutely fuck all” ! Jack has therefore concluded that 250 years ago, N. IRELAND had already gone wireless” !

Just makes you bloody proud to be Irish doesn’t it !

Sat 17 Mar 2012 1334 GMT Standard Time Wk. 11.